Creative Child

50 Ways to Love a Child

by Rebecca Eanes


Words of Affirmation – Every child blossoms with words of encouragement and positive guidance. These kind words nurture a child’s sense of worth and feelings of security. For some children, this is how they receive love the best. Be aware that criticism and a harsh tone of voice or negative body language are particularly hard on children whose primary love language is words of affirmation.

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Here are 10 ways to show love in this language.

  1. Give the child a sweet nickname.
  2. Leave notes in their lunchbox.
  3. Say “I love you” first and often.
  4. Tell them why you like them.
  5. Verbally affirm their positive actions.
  6. Tell them you’re proud of them.
  7. Offer sincere, heartfelt compliments.
  8. Verbalize your love after correction.
  9. Write notes, cards, or letters.
  10. Find something off of this list of 64 Positive Things to Say to Children to say each day.
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Quality Time – Spending time with our children when we are intently focused on them, pushing aside our agendas and distractions, is a beautiful gift. Quality time says “You are important to me. I like spending time with you.”

If Quality Time is your child’s love language, here are 10 ways to fill her tank.

  1. Play with them without distractions.
  2. Read together.
  3. Go on mommy/daddy dates. Here are some ideas.
  4. Let your child choose how to spend the time together.
  5. Cook together or have dinner together regularly.
  6. Tell them stories of your childhood.
  7. Laugh and tell jokes.
  8. Practice active listening.
  9. Create traditions.
  10. Spend quality time together after correction.
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Gifts – All children like gifts, but for the child whose love language is gifts, it’s not about just collecting objects. The gift is a symbol of the thought behind it. It says, “I was thinking of you.” The cost is not important.

Here are 10 meaningful ideas for speaking this language.

  1. Send them mail.
  2. Give a homemade coupon book.
  3. Select personalized gifts.
  4. Give them a friendship bracelet you made.
  5. Give stickers. I like these homemade scratch and sniff stickers!
  6. Pick flowers from the yard for them.
  7. Give an inexpensive handmade gift. Here are 75+ ideas.
  8. Give an annual gift that has meaning, such as a handmade ornament every Christmas.
  9. Offer a small token of your love after correction. Even a heart cut out of construction paper with a smiley face drawn on will speak of your unconditional love.
  10. Give “open when” letters. Here are the printables.
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Acts of Service – Love is a verb. Love shows action. This isn’t about waiting on your child hand and foot, but the little acts of service you do communicate “You mean so much to me. I want to help you. I want to make your day.” This motivates children to do acts of service for others and models that love is doing.

Here are 10 acts of service that say “I love you.”

  1. Do their laundry for them.
  2. Perform daily duties with love. Toddlers still require a lot of assistance – diaper changes, baths, face wipes, teeth brushing, etc. Perform these lovingly and gently.
  3. Set up play invitations/activities.
  4. Help them with homework.
  5. Repair or mend a toy or other belonging.
  6. Make them a special meal or treat.
  7. Teach them how to do something, like knit or ride a bike.
  8. Make their bed for them.
  9. Offer a warm towel or blanket fresh from the dryer on a cold day.
  10. Pamper them for a whole day.

Like this article? See more of my parenting and play articles here.

Rebecca Eanes, is the founder of and creator of Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond. She is the bestselling author of 3 books. Her newest book,Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, is more than a parenting book, it's a guide to human connection. She has also written The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parentingand co-authored the book, Positive Parenting in Action: The How-To Guide to Putting Positive Parenting Principles in Action in Early ChildhoodShe is the grateful mother to 2 boys.


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