Creative Child

How to Raise Kids Who Can Talk to You about Anything

by Rebecca Eanes

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  1. Don’t trivialize. Sometimes kids have big feelings over seemingly little things, and it can be easy to brush those off as nonsense, but again it’s about making relationship deposits. Put yourself in those little shoes and try to see from his perspective. When kids know we can handle their big feelings, they’ll come to us with them. On the other hand, if their big feelings cause us to have big feelings or make them feel ashamed or on guard for having them, they’ll stuff them down or take them elsewhere.

 

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  1. Provide the right environment. Questions like “how was school” or “who did you play with at recess” are likely to draw one word answers. It can be so frustrating and alarming to feel like you’re being shut out! But rather than trying to drag it out of them, just provide the right environment for safe conversation. The right environment is one of connection, warmth, and unconditional positive regard. If kids fear they’ll lose our attention or affection if they share difficult truths with us, then we lose.

 

  1. Be available. I often hear about how teens and tweens open up best in the quiet still of the night. I know by the end of the day, we are so done, but being available those few extra minutes just might mean the world to your kid, and to your relationship.
Rebecca Eanes, is the founder of positive-parents.org and creator of Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond. She is the bestselling author of 3 books. Her newest book,Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, is more than a parenting book, it's a guide to human connection. She has also written The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parentingand co-authored the book, Positive Parenting in Action: The How-To Guide to Putting Positive Parenting Principles in Action in Early ChildhoodShe is the grateful mother to 2 boys.

 

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