Creative Child

One Thing I Changed that Made Me a Happier Mom

by Rebecca Eanes on Sep 6th, 2017

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I realized I was spending a lot of time focusing on what my kids couldn’t yet do or what I hadn’t yet accomplished and this left me feeling like I was always behind and trying to race to the next milestone or achievement. Of course, the problem with constantly looking ahead is that you miss the great stuff happening in the now, which is exactly what was happening. I knew if I continued this, it would lead to regret. So, I decided to change one thing.

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I started focusing my attention on the positives. I thought about what my kids could do and how much they’ve grown and matured. I looked at their good traits and complimented them more on what I saw. I looked at what I have accomplished and realized how far I’d come. I paid more attention to the miracle moments. I started a “happy thoughts journal” where I wrote things that I was grateful for, good things that had happened that day, positive thoughts about the future, something good about my kids, happy quotes I liked, and so on. I started my 10 minutes of joy practice. And because energy flows where your attention goes, I felt happier and more good things started happening (or at least I noticed them more). 

I’m not at all Pollyannish. I fully acknowledge that parenthood brings exhaustion, worry, fear, sleepless nights, hurt feelings, broken hearts, messes everywhere, anxiety, and more. But it also brings laughter, smiles, hugs, tiny hands in mine, arms around my neck, the sweet rhythmic breathing of a child sleeping next to me, mornings that start with “good morning, Mommy,” love notes, stick people drawings, sticky kisses, healing, and love. So much love. My happiness (and yours) is largely dependent on which of those I choose to focus on.

It’s not easy now and it will never be easy, but it’s still really, really good.

Rebecca Eanes, is the founder of positive-parents.org and creator of Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond. She is the bestselling author of 3 books. Her newest book,Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, is more than a parenting book, it's a guide to human connection. She has also written The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parentingand co-authored the book, Positive Parenting in Action: The How-To Guide to Putting Positive Parenting Principles in Action in Early ChildhoodShe is the grateful mother to 2 boys.

 

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