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2. Learn the basics of your toddler’s brain. This will actually help you with #1 as well. I’ve written on this before in a post titled 5 Things Your Toddler Needs You to Know. Read the full article when you have time, but here’s the summary. Your toddler’s brain is a toddler, too! Yes, it still has a LOT of growing to do, and the front of the brain which is responsible for impulse control, logical thinking (which is what is supposed to happen in the time out chair) and forming strategies and planning (like manipulation) hasn’t even developed yet! Second, toddlers and needy not naughty. Remember, they’ve still only been around on this plant a few short months! They have so much learning and growing to do, and they’ll get it! They will. Believe in them! See their light. Guide them gently. Third, toddlers come to believe about themselves whatever it is that you believe about them. If he’s constantly hearing that he’s naughty, that’s going to creep into his self-concept making him….guess….act naughty. We always try to live up (or down) to what our core beliefs about ourselves are. Give him positive messages to live up to. Number four, stay connected. Keep building that relationship because you’re going to need it to be strong in the coming years! Lastly, remember that no one is perfect. Your toddler doesn’t need you to be perfect. She just needs your unwavering love and gentle guidance. On the tough days, remember “this too shall pass.”

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3. Be patient. Honestly, most of the things that drive you bonkers during the toddler years don’t need to be “disciplined away.” Your toddler will eventually learn to use the toilet, tame his temper, quit whining, sleep well, communicate better, and learn to share. She will learn this both through natural growth (as her brain grows and matures, she’ll gain more control) and your positive guidance and example. I know in the midst of a challenging day of parenting, that one more cup of spilled milk or plate thrown on the floor can feel like a big deal, but the more you practice peace amidst the chaos, the more you will enjoy these precious, fleeting years.

Rebecca Eanes is the bestselling author of multiple books including Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, The Positive Parenting Workbook, and The Gift of a Happy Mother. She is the grateful mom of two boys.