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Later:

5. When the storm has passed, ask questions. Try to find out what is bothering your child. Is something going on at school? Was there a disagreement with a friend? Have things at home been rocky? Is she struggling with a negative self-concept? When you find out the root cause and address it, the resulting bad attitude will disappear.

6. Discuss with your child how he can better express his frustrations. Show him the difference in the tone he used with you versus a more respectful tone, and teach positive communication skills. By taking the time to do this extra step, we’re giving them the tools they need to be better equipped to handle their emotions and behaviors. For example, when we teach them to be mindful of anger rising, to take a few deep breaths, and to tame the tongue as you modeled in your response to them, they learn over time to develop this self-discipline.

7. Build your relationship. Sometimes disrespect is a signal that our relationship needs some work. Disconnection happens for a variety of reasons and does not necessarily mean you are at fault. It simply means that, at this time, your child needs more love and attention. Be intentional about giving lots of encouragement, positive affirmations, and attention. Make time for family traditions and have fun together.

All children, at one time or another, will likely be disrespectful in some way. This is normal for an underdeveloped, reactive brain. Our response to this normal behavior, however, will determine whether a negative cycle ensues or our relationship is strengthened. When you must choose between showing power or love, choose love.

Rebecca Eanes is the bestselling author of multiple books including Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, The Positive Parenting Workbook, and The Gift of a Happy Mother. She is the grateful mom of two boys.