Creative Child

Why Your Child Has the Final Say in Tantrums

by Deborah Song


Number 2: Focus on good behavior.

It is always easier to focus on the bad than the good, so this will require more conscious parenting on your part. However, if you can respond with as much expediency when your child asks for something politely as when he whines or throws a tantrum, he will be inspired to ask nicely next time. Or if you compliment your child as many times for sharing a toy as when you scold him for taking one away, he will be more prone to share his toy next time.

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Number 3: Let them have their tantrum.

While this may not always be feasible in public, let your kid have his tantrum at home so long as he is safe and isn’t hurting anyone else. It may be hard to watch, but throwing a tantrum is actually a child’s way of learning to cope and control his emotions. Give your child an opportunity to learn to master his own frustrations and emotions.

Number 4: Get on the same page.

Consistency is key. It’s important to get parents, spouses, partners, caregivers, and even teachers on the same page and on board with the same strategy. Like all battles, a unified front will be much more powerful than sending conflicting messages.

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Check out these related articles on other top behaviors that cause parents frustration and how to deal with them!


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Deborah Song is a Canadian-born, Los Angeles-based writer, who obtained her master's in journalism from New York University. She is the founder of, and is passionate about helping parents find better work-life balance and proper support through community.

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