CreativeChild RSS Feed http://creativechild.com/ Thriving as an Introverted Mom <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Self-awareness is an important part of parenting. I believe that knowing, understanding, and accepting ourselves is key to being thriving mothers. In my new book, <span style="color: #0000ff;"><strong><a style="color: #0000ff;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Happy-Mother-Perfection-Embracing/dp/0143131567/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=rebecca+eanes&amp;qid=1550082664&amp;s=gateway&amp;sr=8-3"><span class="s2">The Gift of a Happy Mother,</span></a></strong></span> I admit, &ldquo;If introversion were on a sliding scale, I&rsquo;d be toes off the ledge on the &lsquo;extremely introverted&rsquo; side.&rdquo; Author Jenn Granneman describes introversion succinctly. She says, &ldquo;Introverts live in two worlds: We visit the world of people, but solitude and the inner world will always be our home.&rdquo; The challenge with being an introverted mother is that solitude is so very rare in those early years, and we must live in the &ldquo;world of people&rdquo; far too much. In other words, because we have to be so cognizant of our surroundings and nearly always engaged with our children, we don&rsquo;t get the required &ldquo;inner world&rdquo; time to reflect and recharge. This can leave us feeling talked out, touched out, and overwhelmed. </span></p> <p class="p2">##ad##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Unfortunately, the result for introverted moms is often that we carry too much guilt &ndash; guilt for wanting to be alone and guilt for feeling overwhelmed. After all, didn&rsquo;t we want this child? Aren&rsquo;t we happy to be parents? Shouldn&rsquo;t we be enjoying every moment!? We are overdosing on guilt because of a personality trait we cannot control. This is why understanding your needs and personality is key, because it 1) eases the guilt, 2) guides you toward thoughtful planning, and 3) uncovers your strengths as an introverted mom. </span></p> <p class="p2">##adbig##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>Meet Your Strengths</strong></span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">There are many strengths that introverts possess, but here are just five that stand out in motherhood.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">1. Creativity springs from solitude. Because introverts spend more time alone and in their heads than their extroverted friends, they are often very creative people. Creative minds like J.K. Rowling, Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates, Einstein, and Dr. Seuss all share your introversion. Being a creative parent certainly has its perks! You&rsquo;re always coming up with new ideas of fun ways to keep your child entertained. </span></p> <p class="p2">&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">2. You&rsquo;re a thinker and a problem-solver. Introverts are always (always!) thinking. Naturally this helps us think through problems and find creative solutions. If something isn&rsquo;t working in your parenting, or if your child is struggling with a problem and needs helped, you&rsquo;re well-equipped to figure it out and make things better.</span></p> <p class="p2">&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">3. You&rsquo;re a great listener, too. Active listening is a valuable skill, and most introverts are naturally good at it. Whereas extroverts often jump in too quickly or are quick to offer opinions, introverts listen without obsessing over how to respond. We take it in and think about it before responding, and that makes us valuable and trusted friends, colleagues, parents, and leaders. Your child will always feel like she can come to you because she knows you&rsquo;ll listen well!</span></p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1690 Tue, 19 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 How to Make Your Child Feel Cherished on Valentine’s Day <p>I think somewhere along the way, holidays have become lost in the shuffle of a busy life. Sure, we still acknowledge them, but more so in a hurried and commercialized way rather than a meaningful one. Valentine&rsquo;s Day is no exception. We typically profess our love with store-bought cards and the boxes of candy, and those are sweet gestures, but what if we choose instead to create purposeful traditions that make our children feel truly loved and cherished? After all, we only get roughly 18 Valentine&rsquo;s Days with our children at home. Let&rsquo;s make each one count!</p> <p>##ad##</p> <p><strong>Prepare a special meal. </strong>Heart-shaped foods like pizza, pancakes, and cookies are a simple and sweet way to show your love. Make it a family affair by getting the kids to help mix the batter or roll the dough while you chatter with them. Alternatively, you could do a theme of red foods and prepare pasta with red sauce with red velvet cupcakes followed by fruit punch, for example. Add a hand-written love note and it&rsquo;s a meal they&rsquo;ll remember.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Give tickets to an experience. </strong>Most kids are swimming in &ldquo;stuff&rdquo; already. Instead of adding yet another stuffed bear to the pile, consider giving the gift of experience. Ideas include concert tickets, skating lessons, cooking or yoga classes, horseback riding, movie passes, tickets to a zoo, aquarium, or sporting event, etc. An abundance of research shows that experiences bring much more happiness than material possessions, so skip the bears and flowers and give the gift of happiness!</p> <p>##adbig##&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Set up a Valentine&rsquo;s Day themed play invitation. </strong>Children value play time with their parents. Few things make a child feel more loved than a parent who is engaged in play with them. Some play ideas for Valentine&rsquo;s Day include creating a themed sensory bin for them to explore, doing a Valentine&rsquo;s Day craft together, sewing stuffed hearts together, and painting the word &ldquo;love&rdquo; which you&rsquo;ve pre-traced onto a canvas.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Play themed family games.</strong>From Valentine&rsquo;s Day bingo to minute-to-win-it style games, there are plenty of ideas to be found on the internet! One of my favorites is to draw a large face (with no mouth) on a big sheet of paper tape it to the wall. Give your child a big pair of lips to pin on the face! Play this</p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1685 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 Speak Your Child’s Love Language and Communicate Love More Effectively <p>When I try to hug and kiss my 6-year-old, she usually becomes a squirmy little worm and wiggles her way out of arms. When I tell her how proud I am of her, she offers an appreciative smile. But when I offer to make slime with her, she beams and throws me the biggest hug.</p> <p>##ad##&nbsp;</p> <p>There are many ways to show love. But the various forms of expressions are not created equal. Speaking the right love language to your child can fill his bucket a quarter full, a half full or make it overflow. Speaking your child&rsquo;s love language can change the dynamic of not only your relationship with your child but the chemistry of the entire family.</p> <p>The five love languages as defined by Gary Chapman in his book, &ldquo;The Five Love Languages of Children,&rdquo; are acts of service; words of affirmation, gifts, quality time or physical touch. Each of these expressions of love represents a different "language."</p> <p>##adbig##</p> <p>For my squirmy 6-year-old, quality time fills her bucket most. That&rsquo;s not to say she doesn&rsquo;t appreciate words of encouragement or won&rsquo;t enjoy a cuddle at night. But quality time is the love language that communicates love best. After a couple of hours of focused one-on-one time, I&rsquo;ve noticed an increase in her level patience, cooperation and happiness during the week. She becomes less needy. Kids, after all, are just like us. When their needs are met, they have more to give. In this way, learning to speak your child&rsquo;s love language can be powerful in giving your child more confidence.&nbsp;</p> <p>When your child is young, it&rsquo;s not completely easy to distinguish his or her love language because they need all five languages: your acts of service, personal touch, words of affirmation, quality time and what child doesn&rsquo;t like gifts? But as your child becomes older, his dominant love language will become clearer.</p> <p>It&rsquo;s important to note that what communicates love to one child may not be received the same way by another child. By understanding the five love languages, we can more easily discern the emotional needs of your child. Here is a brief description of each love language:</p> <p><strong>Words of affirmation</strong>&nbsp;</p> <p>Words hold great power for a child whose love language is words of affirmation. Compliments such as "You&rsquo;re such a great sister!" or "You&rsquo;re such a wonderful kid!&rdquo; go a long way with the child who thrives on praise and encouragement. Affirming words hold the power to provide your child with security and an inner sense of worth.</p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1686 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 Birthdays on a Budget: Reuse and Repurpose Birthday Decor <p>Every parent wants their child&rsquo;s birthday to be special but the cost of throwing a party can really add up, especially if you have multiple children. Is it really possible to cut party costs without losing the fun and excitement that parents and kids alike have come to love? One way to cut down on costs is by purchasing birthday supplies that can be reused or repurposed year after year.</p> <p>##ad##</p> <p>The easiest way to start saving on party decor is to stock up on items when they are on sale or clearance. Choose items that are not theme specific and select a variety of colors that are gender neutral. Basic birthday signs, party lanterns, and photo backdrops can be reused again and again. You can even make your own decor out of stronger materials like cardstock or cardboard or hit up the dollar store for streamers and signs that can be used repeatedly. As you collect a stash of items, store it someplace that is organized and easily accessible when the next birthday arrives.</p> <p>When purchasing items for the special day, it may be wise to spend a little extra money on birthday items that you know can be used many times over several years. Purchase games that can be used every year like bingo, bean bag toss, or yard games such as badmitten. These games are fun for any party and will see a return on&nbsp; your investment quickly. Chalkboards for birthday signs, cake stands, and punch bowls can also be purchased once and used for many parties.</p> <p>##adbig##</p> <p>You can also buy dress up items that can be used for a photo booth year after year such as hats, silly glasses, feather boas, or masks. Kids of any age will have a great time posing in different costumes. Many of these items can be purchased at a dollar store, garage sales, or may be laying around your house. Choose a basic birthday backdrop for your photo booth or use a plain sheet or tablecloth to keep things simple and affordable for your photo backdrop. There are also fun apps that allow you to put in different backdrops if you use a green background. Photos taken in the photo booth can double as thank you cards for your guests.</p> <p>Money can be saved on tableware in a few different ways. Cloth tablecloths and plastic plates can be washed and used again. They will last for years with a one time investment. If the thought of extra cleanup doesn&rsquo;t appeal to you, try buying a giant roll of white butcher paper and unrolling on the table to be used as a tablecloth. Allow kids to color right on the tablecloth during the party. When the party is over, simply roll up the paper and toss it. One roll of paper will last for years and because of neutral color it can be used for many holidays and birthdays.</p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1687 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 Is it Time to Add a Pet to the Family? <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">Are you thinking of adding a four-legged, furry friend to the family? Adding a new member to the family is fun and exciting but it can also be stressful and disruptive if you are not prepared to take on the responsibility of a family pet. Here are some things to think about before you adopt a pet.</span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">##ad##</span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Are the kids comfortable around animals?</span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Some kids are naturally afraid of animals and it may cause them to act erratically around the new pet which may upset the animal. While a healthy respect for animals is important, kids should be comfortable around the type of pet you are considering adopting. If your child is fearful, do not force them to interact with the animal. Instead, show them how to properly care for the pet and encourage them to participate as they feel comfortable. </span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Do they understand how to properly treat an animal?</span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Before adopting a new pet, kids should understand how to take care of them responsibly. They should also understand that they must be touched gently and carefully. They should not squeeze, hit, ride on, or drop the animal. Dogs and cats are not toys. If an animal feels threatened or cornered they may growl, hiss, or bite. It is a good idea to explain this to your child and let them know if they are cared for in a loving way, this usually isn&rsquo;t an issue.</span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">##adbig##</span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Is everyone in the family committed to the idea?</span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Adopting a pet is a long term commitment that everyone in the family needs to be on board with. Are the kids responsible enough to take on the tasks of feeding and caring for the pet? If not, is the parent willing to pick up the slack? Do you have proper space for the type of pet you are considering? Is your family home enough to walk and feed a dog? Will the pet get enough attention with your work and activity schedules? Can you afford to care for your pet? Not only will there be an initial adoption cost but there will be food, accessories, vet bills, and boarding costs if you decide to travel. You should also consider if anyone in the family may have allergies, fears, or any other issues that may interfere with being able to commit to caring for an animal for years. </span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; If you have answered these questions and are still excited about the idea of adding a four-legged friend to your family, discuss with all family members what type of animal would be a good fit. Dogs are generally higher maintenance than cats because they must be walked or have a fenced backyard. They need to be let out at regular intervals, which means someone has to be home during the day to do that. There are also many dog breeds to consider depending on size and temperment. It is wise to do some research on dog breeds before jumping in. Cats are generally lower maintenance because they can be left alone for longer periods of time but they do still need love, attention, feedings, and a clean litter box. If chosen carefully, pets can be a great addition to a family because they bring many years of companionship and enjoyment. </span></p> <p class="normal"><span lang="EN">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1688 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 When Toddlers Bite, Hit, and Hurt Others <p>When toddlers become aggressive and hit, bite, and hurt others, parents quickly become alarmed. Rest assured that although this behavior is certainly not what we want to see in our kids, it is normal. It doesn&rsquo;t mean that your child is bad or has an anger problem. It simply means that your child has an immature brain that cannot process the flood of emotion he or she is experiencing.&nbsp; It isn&rsquo;t naughtiness that drives aggression &ndash; it&rsquo;s frustration or fear. That&rsquo;s an important distinction because when we see a child as being frustrated or afraid instead of mean or bad, we are moved to respond with compassion rather than anger.</p> <p>##ad##&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Skip the Punishment</strong></p> <p>It&rsquo;s clear that <strong><span style="color: #0000ff;"><a style="color: #0000ff;" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-resilience/201009/spanking-makes-kids-more-aggressive-the-research-is-clear">spanking makes kids <em>more</em>aggressive</a>,</span></strong> and time-out doesn&rsquo;t work either. <strong><span style="color: #0000ff;"><a style="color: #0000ff;" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/encountering-america/201409/the-problem-time-outs-0">According to Jessica Grogan, PhD</a>,</span></strong> &ldquo;research suggests time-outs may have detrimental neurobiological effects comparable to those of spanking.&rdquo; The relational pain caused by time-out is very similar in the brain to the physical pain caused by hitting a child. That&rsquo;s because &ldquo;social isolation and rejection are experienced as shame,&rdquo; says Mary Lamia, PhD. &ldquo;Shaming experiences lead children (or adults) to believe their entire self is bad rather than just their behavior&hellip;In order for the child to cope with shame, he or she will typically respond by attacking oneself, attacking others, withdrawal, or avoidance.&rdquo; Punishment causes more problems; it doesn&rsquo;t solve any. Discipline is not the same as punishment. Discipline is about teaching a child how to do better.</p> <p>##adbig##&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Addressing the Aggressive Behavior</strong></p> <p>The two most important things to remember is 1) do no harm and 2) be mindful of what you are modeling. What do I mean by &ldquo;do no harm?&rdquo; Don&rsquo;t respond with your own aggression which will scare or further frustrate your child. Don&rsquo;t isolate, smack, shame, or punish. These actions cause either physical or emotional harm that only make the problem worse. While the behavior may appear to stop in the short-term, your child will only learn to suppress their feelings and those feelings do not just go away. Bad feelings eventually manifest in one way or another and could lead to anxiety, trouble sleeping, tantrums, etc.</p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1689 Wed, 06 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0800 No More Bad Mood Mom <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Are you feeling the post-holiday blahs? Do you struggle with irritability and a general bad mood? If so, you&rsquo;re in the right place, because I&rsquo;m going to share 5 proven ways to boost your mood every day so that your kids can see your smiling face. </span></p> <p>##ad##</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I&rsquo;m sure it&rsquo;s no secret, but a parent&rsquo;s irritable, bad mood can have a negative impact on their child&rsquo;s mental state. As it turns out, it&rsquo;s also not good for your own health. Anger elevates your blood pressure. Arguments slow healing time. Chronic high levels of stress is linked to various diseases. Let&rsquo;s be real, though. Modern motherhood offers us plenty of stressors, and there are lots of reasons we could choose to be sour. How do we kick the bad moods and set a joyful climate in our homes?</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Get the Right Nutrition</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">I hate to even type that out because I know it&rsquo;s so obvious and has been stated a billion times, but are we heeding this advice that we&rsquo;ve heard so much? Most of us aren&rsquo;t. In my opinion, we get sort of glassy eyed when we hear advice so simple as exercise and eat well, and many moms think there simply isn&rsquo;t enough time for that. After all, we&rsquo;re stretched to the max already, and there&rsquo;s barely time for a good hot shower most days, much less the time and mental space to get in a workout or plan and prepare nutritious meals. I get it! This is really a mindset issue though, and we need to prioritize this most basic form of self-care, caring for our bodies and minds. If it&rsquo;s important enough to us, we can find the time to make it happen. It&rsquo;s a choice. </span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">So start small. Vitamin B12 and other B vitamins play a role in producing brain chemicals that affect mood. Make sure you&rsquo;re getting enough B vitamins and consult your doctor if you think you may be deficient.</span></p> <p><br />##adbig##</p> <p><strong>Write</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thoughts have a powerful effect on our moods, and if we have negative or worrisome thoughts on loop in our minds, it can cause chronic mood problems. For years, practitioners have journals, logs, and other writing forms to help people heal and move past their limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns. Try a daily practice of writing. Release your negative thoughts onto paper. This can help you see the problem more clearly and help you identify patterns. From there, you can work on replacing those negative thoughts with something more uplifting and positive.</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Just as importantly, if not more so, is writing daily about what you are grateful for. We&rsquo;ve all heard about the benefits of gratitude, and yet this is another area that most of us just aren&rsquo;t prioritizing. Life is created in our daily habits. When we change our habits, we will see real progress toward becoming the parents and people we want to be.</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1684 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800 Is Your Child’s Heart in Safe-Keeping? <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Has parenting become a competitive sport? Are we now more concerned with having the best-behaved, best sleeping, fastest reading, most accomplished, and most obedient child, or are we concerned with one of a parent&rsquo;s most important duties &ndash; keeping their child&rsquo;s heart safe? In circles and groups around the country, parents are showing great concern for having accomplished and obedient children. They read books and scour articles and ask their doctors and friends &ndash; how can I get my child to do what I want, when I want? <em>How can I make them as inconvenient as possible?</em></span></p> <p class="p2">##ad##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>The crucial question that is too often going unasked is this: &ldquo;Is my child&rsquo;s heart safe with me?&rdquo;</strong></span></p> <p class="p2">&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Why is it important to keep a child&rsquo;s heart safe? Because a safe heart is open to attachment, and attachment is the key that makes the relationship strong and the child open to your influence and instruction. A safe heart is resilient. A safe heart has a layer of protection against the world&rsquo;s cruelty. A safe heart allows a child to grow into who he or she was meant to be. Without it, they harden. They rebel. They suffer. And so one of our first and foremost tasks as parents other than keeping our child physically safe is to hold their heart in safe-keeping. </span></p> <p class="p2">&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">But how?</span></p> <p class="p2">##adbig##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">The best way to keep a child&rsquo;s heart safe is to always try to &ldquo;do no harm.&rdquo; According to Dr. Gordon Neufeld, the three most wounding interactions to children are 1) separation, 2) shame, and 3) alarm (feeling unsafe). Drawing from my own experiences, I will share here ways I believe we can avoid these three wounding interactions. Please note that the following is not necessarily the view of Dr. Neufeld but my own.</span></p> <p class="p2">&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">1. Separation &ndash; Certainly physical separation can be wounding to some children. When we must physically separate, it&rsquo;s important to help a child form an attachment to whomever we are leaving them with. A child must feel safe in that person&rsquo;s care. Therefore, give your child an introduction to their new teacher, babysitter, or caregiver in advance and allow time for your child to form a bond. It can also be helpful to leave them with something of yours that makes you feel close you are away &ndash; such as a t-shirt with your perfume or photograph. </span></p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1683 Tue, 08 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800 Why Overpraise Sets Our Kids Up For Failure Not Success <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Research has shown that how you praise your children has powerful repercussions on their development. Columbia University researchers, Claudia Mueller and Carol Dweck, found that children who were praised for their intelligence, as compared to their effort, persisted less, showed less enjoyment, and attributed their failure to a lack of ability, something they couldn&rsquo;t control. </span></p> <p class="p2">##ad##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">On the other hand, children who were praised for their effort instead of the outcome, showed more interest in learning, demonstrated greater persistence and more enjoyment, and attributed their failure to lack of effort, something they could control. They worked harder, sought new challenges and ultimately performed better in subsequent achievement activities. </span></p> <p class="p2">&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Furthermore, research has also found that students who were lavished with praise were more cautious in their responses to questions, had less confidence in their answers, and were less willing to share their ideas. </span></p> <p class="p2">&nbsp;</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">So when and why does praise go wrong? And what are some alternative ways to support our kids? Positive encouragement isn&rsquo;t a bad thing after all. In order to figure out what works and what doesn&rsquo;t, let&rsquo;s first start with the purpose of praise. The sole purpose in praising our children is to reinforce positive behaviors that produce positive outcomes. </span></p> <p class="p2">##adbig##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Generic and over-inflated praise like,<span class="Apple-converted-space">&nbsp; </span>&ldquo;Great job,&rdquo; or &ldquo;You&rsquo;re amazing,&rdquo; fail to do this. Such empty praise provides no directional guidance and only works to debilitate. When it comes to praising our children, how we encourage matters a great deal. Here are some tips. </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>1. Avoid labels. </strong>Labels like genius, the next Picasso, pro-athlete, or a natural-born star don&rsquo;t describe our kids so much as it fulfills some type of fantasy parents may harbor for their child. This type of labeling creates undue pressure and may even breed lazy perfectionists and discourage kids from performing on a less than perfectly. </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1"><strong>2. Focus on praise kids have control over.</strong> Praise is much more effective when you make comments about their effort, attitude, sense of responsibility, commitment, discipline, focus, decision-making abilities, compassion, generosity and respect, than on unalterable qualities such as intelligence, physical attractiveness, or athletic or artistic gifts. </span></p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1680 Fri, 04 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800 The AAP Takes a Stance Against Spanking <p class="p1"><span class="s1">The spanking debate rages on, except it&rsquo;s not much of a debate anymore. The research is clear &ndash; spanking is harmful to child development. The American Academy of Pediatrics has taken a stand against corporal punishment, summarizing new evidence published in the last 20 years. It should be noted that the AAP defines corporal punishment as the &ldquo;non-injurious, open handed hitting with the intention of modifying child behavior.&rdquo; This definition makes it clear that we aren&rsquo;t just talking about extreme cases of child abuse here, but the common practice of spanking as a form of discipline, and the AAP warns that it is harmful and is calling for its abolition.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1"><br /> Children who experience corporal punishment have been proven to be more aggressive and have an increased risk of mental health disorders and cognitive problems. Strikingly, even when warm parenting practices occurred alongside spanking, adolescent conduct disorder and depression remained, meaning that being a kind and loving parent when not administering a spanking didn&rsquo;t save the child from its consequences. Some studies have noted a relationship between physical punishment and chronically high cortisol levels which could lead to lifelong negative health effects. </span></p> <p class="p2">##ad##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Spanking may seem to work in the moment because it temporarily interrupts the bad behavior, but what&rsquo;s happening in the child&rsquo;s body and brain because of that spanking is significant and puts the child at substantial risk. In addition, spanking has been shown ineffective in the long term, so it&rsquo;s really not worth the risk to a child&rsquo;s mental and physical health. </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Unfortunately, some parents still confuse the absence of spanking with an absence of discipline, claiming that by &ldquo;sparing the rod,&rdquo; children are allowed to get away with all sorts of bad conduct. In addition, there&rsquo;s the argument that &ldquo;I was spanked and turned out fine,&rdquo; although it&rsquo;s impossible to know the impact those spankings had on one&rsquo;s developing brain and body and how that person might have &ldquo;turned out&rdquo; in the absence of such trauma. These perspectives keep parents locked in a negative cycle that is hard to break free from without proper guidance for effective discipline.</span></p> <p class="p2">##adbig##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">In the Policy Statement issued by the AAP, they include yelling at and shaming children in their list of aversive disciplinary strategies along with corporal punishment. Yelling and shaming are also common strategies, with shaming techniques trending in a world of viral videos and short bursts of fame. So, what are the effective discipline strategies recommended?</span></p> http://www.creativechild.com/article/1681 Fri, 04 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0800