CreativeChild RSS Feed How to Nurture Emotional IQ in Highly Sensitive Children <p class="p1"><span class="s1">My highly sensitive child is graduating kindergarten in a couple of days. The once hesitant learner has become an active participant in class and leader within her peers. Inherent in her growth, has been her ability to better communicate and command her emotions, which has really diffused the need for tantrums and other emotional outbursts. But lately, she&rsquo;s regressed as she often does when her grandparents visit for the summer. </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">I grew a pair of skeptical eyes initially and wondered if my parents were enabling her. She&rsquo;s come so far. The last thing I want her to do is regress.<span class="Apple-converted-space">&nbsp; </span>But upon some thought, I realized my parents weren&rsquo;t really doing anything to spoil her. They&rsquo;re incredibly attentive and loving, but they&rsquo;re also good about correcting misbehavior. And they encourage my kids to take turns, speak politely to each other, and always compliment them when they share.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">I think the true reason for my daughter&rsquo;s regression is probably the same reason I become a little slower when my parents are here: she feels more free to release tension. Not only does she have unlimited access to undivided attention, and a true referee who sees her sister&rsquo;s sly behavior much more consistently than I&rsquo;m ever able to, but it&rsquo;s also when mom&rsquo;s most relaxed as well. </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">##ad##</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">What I considered to be regressive behavior, I realized, was no regression at all. It was simply her way of releasing pent up frustrations. Sure, it&rsquo;s our job to teach our kids how to manage their emotions in a healthy and civil manner.<span class="Apple-converted-space">&nbsp; </span>But parents often forget that the road to emotional maturity is a journey, a long journey that includes the occasional tantrums, emotional outbursts, whining and tears. </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">We want our kids to be well behaved at all times, even our young toddlers. But is this really reasonable? How will our kids ever grow into emotionally intelligent adults if they&rsquo;re not allowed to feel and give their emotions an outlet from time to time? Before children can get a grip on their emotions and become empowered to solve their own problems, they need to have the freedom to feel, be heard, understood and feel accepted. Here are some steps parents can take to nurture emotional intelligence in their kids. </span></p> Mon, 26 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Increase Vocabulary, Increase Emotional IQ <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Before your child can talk about his problems and feelings, he needs an emotional vocabulary. Simply teaching your child how to label what he is feeling will empower him to talk about his feelings, which will lead to solutions. Here are 10 emotions your child can add to his emotional word bank.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">##adbig##</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s2"><span style="color: #333399;"><strong>1. Joy</strong>.</span> Most kids know what it feels like to be happy, which comes from external circumstances like receiving a toys at a birthday party.<span class="Apple-converted-space">&nbsp; </span>But it&rsquo;s important kids understand the difference between joy and happiness because it gives them something very distinctive to strive for.<span class="Apple-converted-space">&nbsp; </span>While happiness is influenced by external circumstances, joy comes when you have accepted who you are and are at peace with who you are. Therefore joy is therefore cultivated internally and while happiness is experienced externally.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span style="color: #333399;"><strong>2. Love.</strong></span> Love is something you feel when someone means very much to you and you like that person very much. Because love indicates a strong feeling of like, many people say they love objects as well, like a blanket or a lovey. It&rsquo;s very possible, however, to love someone even when you don&rsquo;t like them from time to time. You can often tell how much you love someone by what you&rsquo;re willing to do for them and what you&rsquo;re willing to share with them. That is why love is often more than a feeling.&nbsp; Love is an act.</p> <p class="p1"><span style="color: #339966;"><em><strong>Continued on the next page...</strong></em></span></p> Mon, 26 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Effective Communication Skills for Emotional Intelligence <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Emotional intelligence in children is a topic that is all the rage these days, and for good reason. Building your child&rsquo;s emotional intelligence, or emotional quotient (EQ), is a key factor in establishing effective communication skills.&nbsp;</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">And for any Mom who has had to scrape her toddler off the floor at Target mid-tantrum, effective communication skills are an obsession as strong as refreshing the <span style="color: #0000ff;"><strong><a style="color: #0000ff;" href=""><span class="s2">Danizo</span></a></strong></span> website for new tees to buy.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Emotional intelligence is a person&rsquo;s ability to identify, evaluate, control, and express emotions.&rdquo; It Is what helps us to develop clear thought patterns, communicate with others, and negotiate situations when necessary.</span></p> <p class="p2">##adbig##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">According to <span style="color: #0000ff;"><strong><a style="color: #0000ff;" href=""><span class="s2">South Florida Psychotherapist</span></a></strong></span> Tamara Filgueiras, LCSW, &ldquo;<em>Teaching appropriate communication skills is essential to developing emotional intelligence in children. Everyday conversation between a parent and a child presents a great opportunity for parents to model and teach children how&nbsp;to practice self-control, regulate emotions, focus,&nbsp;as well as&nbsp;how to be present when engaging with others. From teaching them how to pay attention, notice verbal and non-verbal cues, to showing compassion, and appropriate manners, children begin&nbsp;to harness&nbsp;necessary emotional, mental,&nbsp;behavioral, and social skills that will continue to serve them throughout their lives</em>.&rdquo;</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1"><em><strong>Continued on the next page</strong></em>...</span></p> Mon, 26 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Calming the Butterflies <p>Our child may feel &ldquo;butterflies in their tummy&rdquo; if they have a big event coming up such as an important test, a piano recital, or even the first day of school. It is normal to feel nervous when kids are expected to perform or speak in front of a group of people, if they have an upcoming dentist or doctor appointment, or if they have the pressure to do well on a test or at a sporting event. Many adults find themselves feeling nervous for similar events at work or in the community. Even though nerves are common, parents can help kids calm the butterflies and be successful.</p> <p>##ad##</p> <p><strong> Model calming behavior</strong></p> <p>As a parent, watching our child battle nervous feelings can be difficult and may cause the parent to feel anxious and worried themselves.The child may grow more panicked because of this. Model calming behavior to your child. Speak in a calm voice, try not to rush them, and keep your chit chat positive and encouraging.&nbsp;</p> <p><strong> Prepare and discuss</strong></p> <p>Prior to the big day, discuss with your child what they can expect. &ldquo;We spend time talking about the event a few days before. I allow them to ask questions and understand what to expect throughout the process.&rdquo; says Lauren Heller, mother of twins. This is a great opportunity to discuss with your child what their worries are specifically and help them work through them in a healthy way. Rodganna Avery, mother of three, suggests &ldquo;We talk about what to expect and how to handle it. We also try to find books on the topic from the library.&rdquo;&nbsp;</p> <p>##adbig##</p> <p><strong> Relaxation techniques</strong></p> <p>If you find your child is nervous often, sit down ahead of time and discuss some relaxation techniques they think will be helpful in calming butterflies when they arise. &ldquo;I taught my daughter to take slow deep breaths and to pretend she was somewhere else.&rdquo; says Krystal Laws, mother of seven. Some other relaxation techniques may include stretching, reading a book, sipping a favorite drink, listening to music, or talking to a friend. Many kids find physical activity relaxing. Encourage your child to take a short walk or jog, do jumping jacks, shoot hoops, or play on the swingset. This will help your child release some nervous energy. Once your child has found a relaxation technique that works for them, they will have a tool in their back pocket when nerves arise.</p> <p><strong>&nbsp;</strong></p> Fri, 23 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Beat the Heat: Indoor Fun for Hot Summer Days <p>The dog days of summer have settled in and it&rsquo;s too hot to play outside all day. This leaves&nbsp; the kids with lots of energy to burn. Here are 15 easy ways to entertain the kids and keep cool at the same time.&nbsp;</p> <p>##ad##</p> <ol> <li>Get wet&nbsp; - The obvious place to keep cool is in the water. Take the kids to the pool, splash pad, or water park. Get out the sprinkler, baby pool or water table in the backyard. Try having a water balloon fight.&nbsp;<br /><br /></li> <li>Movie marathon - Let the kids enjoy a movie marathon in the comfort of the house. Make popcorn or cool off with some ice cream while you enjoy relaxing and watching movies through the hottest part of the day. Often theater's have dollar movies during the summer just for kids that make a great break from the heat of the day without breaking the bank.<br /><br /></li> <li>Get crafty - Paint, play with play dough, or make bead bracelets. Allow the kids to get creative by making their own scrapbook or finding items in your recycle bin they can make into sculptures.&nbsp;<br /><br /></li> <li>Library trip - Take the kids to the library to cool off and find some great books and movies to check out. When you get home, spend some time relaxing and reading.<br /><br /></li> <li>Indoor play - Check local listings for open gyms, indoor playgrounds, or other fun indoor activities where the kids can run and play without getting overheated.&nbsp;<br /><br /></li> <li>Cool treats - Who doesn&rsquo;t love a cool treat when it&rsquo;s sweltering outside? Enjoy some ice cream or popsicles with the kids. For extra fun, try making your own.<br /><br /></li> <li>Put on a show - Have the kids work together to put on a play, puppet show, or make up a dance routine and perform for you.&nbsp;<br /><br /></li> <li>Play a typically outdoor game inside - Try playing hide and seek, hopscotch, or jump rope inside.&nbsp;<br /><br /></li> <li>Picnic - Have an indoor picnic in the living room since it&rsquo;s too hot to eat outside.<br /><br /></li> <li>Home science - Try a science experiment at home. Make your own volcano, mix food coloring, or make a balloon rocket to teach the kids about science and stay cool indoors.&nbsp; Pinterest is loaded with easy activities to enthral your children.<br /><br /></li> <li>Make cookies - Make no-bake cookies so that you do not have to turn the oven on.<br /><br /></li> <li>Get out early, or late - Run errands or play outside early in the morning or later in the evening when the temperatures are cooler.<br /><br /></li> <li>Build a fort - Have the kids make a fort with pillows and blankets for some indoor fun.&nbsp; A small fan can also help keep them cool and keep their blankets afloat.<br /><br /></li> <li>Race track - Use masking tape to make a race track on the floor and let the kids see who drives the fastest.<br /><br /></li> <li>Ice - Make a block of ice in advance. You can make your own art by putting on a cookie sheet or shallow pan and use salt and food coloring to melt the ice.&nbsp; You can also freeze things in the ice and let the kids play with the small toys as they fall out.</li> </ol> Fri, 23 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Animal Marionette Craft <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Make these colorful marionettes from toilet paper rolls. It's so fun to add your own decorations to add a personal touch. </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">They can be any animal your child might have in mind! What a great craft for imaginary play!</span>&nbsp;</p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Materials:</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">String/Yarn</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hot Glue</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Beads/Pom Poms</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">3 Toilet Paper Rolls (Empty)</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">2 Popsicle Sticks</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Tissue Paper</span></p> <p>##adbig##&nbsp;</p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Directions</span></em>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 1: To create handles, crisscross 2 popsicle sticks together and hot glue together.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 2: Cut 1 toilet paper roll in half, for the heads of your puppets. The other 2 paper rolls will be the bodies. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 3: Take your yarn/string and measure out a long piece to connect your head piece with your body piece. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 4: Poke a small hole at one end of the head piece and body piece. Pull the string ends through each hole and tie knots to hold the pieces. &nbsp;Hot glue the middle of the string to the popsicle sticks.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 5: Measure a shorter piece of string to connect the head to the body. Poke holes on each of the pieces. Pull the string through and tie knots to both ends. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 6: Measure 4 medium length pieces of string the same length. Poke 4 holes on the bottom of the body, these will be the legs of the puppet. Place one end of all more string pieces through the holes and tie at the end. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Step 7: Decorate! Be creative and let your kids decorate how they like. Hot glue beads, pom poms, tissue paper rolled up or anything else you can think of. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Then you're done! Throw yourself a puppet how with your kids and have fun inside while it&rsquo;s hot outside! </span></p> Mon, 19 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Doing Stuff with Your Kids (Not Giving Them Stuff) Will Make Them Happier <p class="p1"><span class="s1">I asked my children to rattle off to me their happiest memories. Among their answers were family trips to amusement parks and attractions, lying under the stars and watching for meteors, outdoor movies, swimming at a waterpark, and seeing the ocean for the first time. They didn&rsquo;t mention one single toy, which is exactly what I was hoping for as I was wanting to prove the point to my 8 year old son that it is experiences, not things, that bring us the most joy. </span></p> <p class="p2">##adbig##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Science is on my side. Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, has been studying the question of money and happiness for over twenty years. He says &ldquo;One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation. We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.&rdquo; I can absolutely see this with my children who, even after anticipating a new toy for weeks and finally gets it, becomes bored with it quickly and is looking for the next toy he wants to buy. It is an endless cycle of want-buy-boredom that you&rsquo;ve probably seen in your own kids. How many &ldquo;I so need this&rdquo; items have you ended up selling or donating because it turns out that they didn&rsquo;t really need it at all? </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">&ldquo;Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods,&rdquo; says Gilovich. &ldquo;You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are a part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.&rdquo;</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">What we experience together connects us. It builds our family units and become treasured memories far more than any toy or gadget. Children are going to feel more connected with someone they took a vacation to Legoland with than someone who bought them a Lego, for example.</span></p> Fri, 16 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Self-Growth: Embracing My Imperfections in Parenting <p class="p1"><span class="s1">I&rsquo;m glad I&rsquo;m not a perfect parent. Here&rsquo;s why.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">I sometimes get down on myself, thinking I should really have it more together than I do. Especially because I&rsquo;m <span style="color: #000080;"><strong><a style="color: #000080;" href=""><span class="s2">parenting book author</span></a></strong></span>, I tend to hold myself to unrealistic standards and beat myself up mentally when I don&rsquo;t achieve that perfection. Something I&rsquo;m working on this year is embracing my flaws and imperfections, partly because it&rsquo;s healthier for me to do so and partly because I want my children to do the same. My older son is a lot like me, and when he falls short of his own high expectations, he can be very hard on himself. I want to model for him what grace looks like so that he can go a little easier on himself while I, too, learn to walk in grace.</span></p> <p class="p2">##adbig##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">At times, I wish that my children would have never seen me lose my temper or heard me yell. In The Book of Joy, the Dalai Lama says he never saw his mother&rsquo;s angry face. That line stabbed me in the heart, and yet if I would have been perfectly controlled in my emotions throughout their childhoods, how would they know how to handle their own messy emotions? If I&rsquo;d never yelled, I wouldn&rsquo;t have been able to model making amends and repairing relationships. If I&rsquo;d never felt frustration, they wouldn&rsquo;t have seen me regulate my emotions and calm down. These are important skills they&rsquo;ll need because even the best and most self-controlled of us aren&rsquo;t perfect. </span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">My house isn&rsquo;t grand or spotless. They&rsquo;ve seen me leave the dishes in the sink and the laundry unfolded in order to play or go out with our family. Sometimes I felt like I was modeling irresponsibility, but perhaps what I was really modeling was prioritizing people over to-do lists. When I look at it that way, it feels more like a success than a failure.</span></p> Fri, 16 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Paper Ballerina Dolls <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This adorable paper ballerina doll, is a great craft to make with your daughters who are either into ballet or just like craftivities! It&rsquo;s easy with simple steps to follow. Have fun!</span>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Materials:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">3 Sheets of White Paper</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">1 Sheet of Pink Paper</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">1 Sheet of Orange Paper</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Hot Glue</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">1 Kabob Stick</span></p> <p>&nbsp;<span style="font-weight: 400;">Directions:</span></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: 400;"><img src="" alt="" width="400" height="569" /></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;">##adbig##</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="" alt="" width="400" height="521" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="" alt="" width="400" height="553" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="" alt="" width="400" height="459" /></p> Thu, 15 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700 Become an Emotionally Intelligent Parent <p class="p1"><span class="s1">We all want to raise <span style="color: #333399;"><strong><a style="color: #333399;" href=""><span class="s2">emotionally intelligent children</span></a></strong></span> because we understand how beneficial it is to their health, happiness, and success. Yet, how are we handling our own emotions? Are we steady or easily thrown? Can we control our moods and impulses? Are we mindfully aware of our emotional states and how they are affecting our children and families? Are we able to meet our children with empathy or are we quick to dismiss, judge, or react? Emotional intelligence is just as important for us as it is for our children, and learning to manage our emotions will help us be a better and more joyful parent.</span></p> <p class="p2">##adbig##</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Two psychologists, John Mayer and Peter Salovey, are credited for coining the term &ldquo;emotional intelligence,&rdquo; but it was Daniel Goleman, a science journalist, who brought &ldquo;emotional intelligence&rdquo; to the forefront with his books, <strong><span style="color: #333399;"><a style="color: #333399;" href=";qid=1497032195&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=daniel+goleman"><span class="s2">Emotional Intelligence</span></a>, <a style="color: #333399;" href=";qid=1497032195&amp;sr=8-6&amp;keywords=daniel+goleman"><span class="s2">Working with Emotional Intelligence</span></a></span></strong>, and Social Intelligence. According to Goleman, there are 5 components of emotional intelligence which we will look at today from the perspective of a parent to see how we, ourselves, can raise our own emotional intelligence. </span></p> <p class="p1"><em><span class="s1"><strong>Self-Awareness</strong></span></em></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Self-awareness is &ldquo;the ability to recognize and understand personal moods and emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.&rdquo; For me, learning this has been a process. I used to believe my mood was entirely created by the circumstances or environment I was in, but I&rsquo;ve since learned (and am still working on applying) the fact that my mood and my emotions are a direct result of my thoughts, and learning to manage my thoughts has been a big work of parenting for me. If I went through my day letting everything my kids do &ldquo;wrong&rdquo; frustrate me and throw me into a sour mood, I would be giving away so much joy and, honestly, I&rsquo;d be giving a lot of power to my children. Self-awareness comes through being mindful, keeping a finger on the pulse of my thoughts and feelings and adjusting as necessary.</span></p> <p class="p1"><strong><span class="s1">Continued on the next page...</span></strong></p> Tue, 13 Jun 2017 00:00:00 -0700