Creative Child

Positive Parenting Tweens

by Rebecca Eanes

Parenting a Tween Continued...

He has always shared a room with his brother and recently said he wanted his own room, which we gave him much to the chagrin of little bro. It’s easy to give him the downtime he needs right now because he’s currently homeschooled, but I imagine that, for children who spend all day at school and then have busy evenings afterwards, this need may get neglected which could result in unwanted behavior.

3. Correction is needed less but relationship counts even more.

There are no tantrums over juice cups or toys. There is no hitting, pinching, or name-calling. Correction isn’t needed nearly as much as in those toddler and preschool years. I’m grateful I invested in positive parenting and building a strong relationship in those early years, because I’m quite certain my tween wouldn’t accept my counsel if I hadn’t.

What I came to understand years ago is just as true today – punishment is not the best course of discipline and it’s still just as important to look beyond behavior.

He recently did something that was unexpected and disappointing, and if my initial reaction had been to punish him, I would have completely missed a deeper issue that was behind his decision. Thankfully, I understand that behavior is just a clue, and we were able to get to the core issue and resolve it.

Top tips for being a positive parent to a tween:

  1. Stay connected. They only listen to those they trust.
  2. Be clear about what is expected, but also be reasonable about your expectations.
  3. Respect space and privacy.
  4. Be proactive in communication. Make talking safe and easy.
  5. Don’t be so quick to confiscate cell phones or send him to his room. There is still a reason behind his behavior and he still needs your help navigating the ever-changing waters of childhood.

Related Article: The Day I Stopped Saying ‘Hurry Up’

Rebecca Eanes, is the founder of and creator of Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond. She is the bestselling author of 3 books. Her newest book,Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, is more than a parenting book, it's a guide to human connection. She has also written The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parentingand co-authored the book, Positive Parenting in Action: The How-To Guide to Putting Positive Parenting Principles in Action in Early ChildhoodShe is the grateful mother to 2 boys.


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