Creative Child

Behavior is Communication – Are You Listening?

by Rebecca Eanes


Is my child’s environment peaceful or chaotic?

Think about your child’s relationships with you, your partner, siblings, and friends. Think about your home environment, both physical and emotional. Is it cluttered or in order? Is there constant discord or a feeling of harmony? Is your child over scheduled or is there space for rest? Both physical and emotional chaos can cause chaotic behavior. If your child’s outer world reflects peace and tranquility, the inner world will follow suit.

How to help: Create beautiful, simple, orderly rooms. Develop a good toy rotation system to reduce clutter. Give your child predictability and structure with peaceful routines. Work toward positive relationships between siblings and parents by learning positive communication and conflict resolution skills.

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What have I been focusing on and pointing out to my child?

When kids hear over and over again about how naughty, difficult, or “too much” they are, they internalize this message and act in ways that live up to the role they’ve come to accept as who they are. Remember that where focus goes, energy flows.

How to help: If you want to see positive behavior, notice and point out positive things about your child. Stop voicing the problem and start voicing a solution. Say what you want to see rather than what you don’t want, and be mindful to be your child’s light reflector. The more you point out and affirm the good in her, the more she will see herself as good, and her behavior will reflect her positive self-concept.

Rebecca Eanes, is the founder of and creator of Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond. She is the bestselling author of 3 books. Her newest book,Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, is more than a parenting book, it's a guide to human connection. She has also written The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parentingand co-authored the book, Positive Parenting in Action: The How-To Guide to Putting Positive Parenting Principles in Action in Early ChildhoodShe is the grateful mother to 2 boys.


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