Continued...

3. I Am Whatever You Say I Am!

My self-concept is being formed right this minute, and right now, I see myself the way you see me. So, if you see me as naughty or bad, that's how I'll see myself. If you see me as kind and wonderful, that's what I'll think about me, too. Oh, and just so you know, I'll always strive to live up (or down) to my self-concept; that's what we humans do. If you want me to be good and kind and caring, catch me being those things and tell me! I like hearing you say nice things about me, and when you see me as a good person, I'll want to behave like one.

##ad##

4. Be Connected!

I know I'm sending you mixed messages. One minute I want to be independent, the next I want you to carry me forever. Trust me, my connection with you is still the most important thing in my life. So, while I need you to let me safely explore, I also need you to be my safe harbor.

Our attachment affects not just my behavior, but to quote some really smart people, “Researchers have found that attachment patterns established early in life can lead to a number of outcomes. For example, children who are securely attached as infants tend to develop stronger self-esteem and better self-reliance as they grow older. These children also tend to be more independent, perform better in school, have successful social relationships, and experience less depression and anxiety.”

Basically, our relationship and connectedness is setting the standard for how I will build relationships and connect with others my whole life! 

Related Article: How Changing My Language Changed My Child's Outlook